(hell, yeah) Scarleteen

so very much more at: scarleteen.com
we heart it.
gehayi:

alchemyjones:

danaykroyd:

these are both still male dominated like……….this is wrong this is not more women than men look its plain and simple wtf

Men, despite dominating STEM fields, demonstrating that they do not even have a basic grasp on math.

I know what this is. It’s the 17% Perception:
GEENA DAVIS: We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study, where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17 percent women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33 percent women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.
JACKI LYDEN: Oh, my goodness.
DAVIS: So is it possible that 17 percent women has become so comfortable, and so normal, that that’s just sort of unconsciously expected?
LYDEN: Why else, Geena Davis, do these kinds of disparities matter?
DAVIS: What we’re, in effect, doing is training children to see that women and girls are less important than men and boys. We’re training them to perceive that women take up only 17 percent of the space in the world. And if you add on top of that, that so many female characters are sexualized - even in things that are aimed at little kids - that’s having an enormous impact as well.

gehayi:

alchemyjones:

danaykroyd:

these are both still male dominated like……….this is wrong this is not more women than men look its plain and simple wtf

Men, despite dominating STEM fields, demonstrating that they do not even have a basic grasp on math.

I know what this is. It’s the 17% Perception:

GEENA DAVIS: We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study, where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17 percent women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33 percent women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.

JACKI LYDEN: Oh, my goodness.

DAVIS: So is it possible that 17 percent women has become so comfortable, and so normal, that that’s just sort of unconsciously expected?

LYDEN: Why else, Geena Davis, do these kinds of disparities matter?

DAVIS: What we’re, in effect, doing is training children to see that women and girls are less important than men and boys. We’re training them to perceive that women take up only 17 percent of the space in the world. And if you add on top of that, that so many female characters are sexualized - even in things that are aimed at little kids - that’s having an enormous impact as well.

(via generationwry)

selfcareafterrape:

When we begin to tell our histories, it is almost inevitable that we will run across someone who doesn’t believe that what happened to us is sexual trauma.

This post will both cover what to do if someone doesn’t believe you- and how to deal with the possibility of it.

Prepping to tell someone:

- If you’ve already told someone (even if it’s a therapist or someone over the internet)- it can help to talk to them again and reaffirm where you’re at.

- Write down what you want to say/rehearse what you want to say. Occasionally the disbelief isn’t intentional- it’s a ‘what’ in response to confusion and we take it as ‘oh no they don’t believe me and I should never speak up again’ versus ‘I was talking 90 miles an hour and they really had no idea what was said and are just trying to figure it out’

- Know that one person not believing you doesn’t change what happened.

- Practice setting boundaries. Know that you can walk away at any time. You do not have to sit and listen to someone invalidate you.

- Try scoping out how a specific person you want to tell will react. Find out their views on rape. Bring up cases in the news, or plots in books, or ‘a friend of a friend of a friend told me’- whatever it takes for you to feel comfortable and know ‘okay, this person doesn’t automatically assume survivors are liars.’

- Make a plan for what you will do if they say they don’t believe you. Will you try to correct them? What will you say? At what point do you walk away?

- Make a plan for what you will do after you leave the situation. Who will you go to for support? Where will you seek validation? Will you need to manage symptoms?

- Self care. Self soothe. I cannot say this enough.

During the event:

-It’s always a good idea to start out by setting boundaries if you can. Even before someone expresses their dis/belief in what you say.

-You are allowed to go ‘I want to tell you something, and if you choose not to believe me- I really don’t want to hear about it.’

-You are allowed to say, ‘I am going to tell you something, and I don’t want to answer questions about it. It’s hard enough talking about it as is.’

-You are allowed to print off articles and ask them to read it- articles that talk about why it’s harmful to ask ‘how do you know?’ or ‘well if it was really rape/abuse you would have ____’ or ‘why didn’t you _____?’

- If they start asking questions, you are allowed to cut them off and say ‘That is a really inappropriate thing to ask’

- If they start telling you that it wasn’t really trauma- you are allowed to correct them, and you are also allowed to say, ‘what you are saying is hurting me.’ 

- You are allowed to walk away completely.

After the event:

-Self care. Self soothe. Emotionally vent. Whatever you need to do.

-Talk to other survivors.

-If you have people who already know and believe you, talk to them. You are allowed to reach out to them for validation. You are allowed to say ‘someone just told me that it wasn’t really trauma will you please remind me that it is’

- Know that one person, ten people, half the world thinking that what happened to you wasn’t trauma- doesn’t mean it wasn’t. There will always be people who will argue that the grass is blue. There will be people who have hurt others, and don’t want to admit your trauma- because it means accepting that they hurt others. There will be people who will argue because they think it’s okay to debate other people’s trauma. None of this reflects on you.

- It can help to have a mantra. ‘What happened to me is valid’. ‘What happened to me is real whether or not other people recognize it as so’. ‘No one but me can define my lived experiences’. Whatever you need it to be. Have it written on a sticky note. Have it in your phone or on your mirror. 

- It can help to have a folder with articles, or validating posts. Things that remind you that there are plenty of people out here who do believe that what happened to you was trauma and that you have every right to your pain and every right to heal at your own pace.

(via selfcareafterrape)

lacigreen:

**5 THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SLUT SHAME THIS HALLOWEEN**

1. Calling women sluts/whores/skanks is a form of sexism.
When it comes to costumes, clothing, and sexual behavior, women are judged by a very different rubric than men.  When a guy has a lot of sex, he’s a stud.  If a woman behaves the same way, she’s a “whore”, “dirty”, “used up”, and doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect.  While people may use terms like “manslut” or “manwhore”, the consequences for the “manwhore” are not nearly as extreme.  People don’t see him as unworthy of respect.  He won’t be degraded, bullied, or have lies and rumors spread about him.  His reputation won’t be destroyed.  Being a “manwhore” is dismissed as him *~just being a guy~*.  

Because slut shame is a result of sexist ideas about what a woman “should” be or is allowed to do/be in the first place, women slut-shaming each other is a form of internalized sexism.  This is where a woman believes sexist things about herself and other women.  It can be very disruptive and harmful to women’s relationships with each other.  

These are some of the ways slut shame is entrenched in sexism.

2. Slut shame limits women’s freedom.
Calling women names and degrading them when they *break the rules* about how a woman is SUPPOSED to dress or behave ensures that women don’t have the same freedom men do.  They are not allowed to dress or do what they like…unless they want to pay the price of being bullied or dehumanized for it.

3. Slut shame is one of the ways women compete with each other for male approval.  
Slut-shaming creates a divide between women.  There are the “slutty stupid ones” with “no self respect” and there are the “proper ladies” who deserve to be treated as human.  Instead of building women up and cultivating healthy friendships, slut shame turns women against each other so that the slut-shamer can prove she’s “not like that” and therefore worthy of respect.  It puts women into harmful categories based on nothing more than how someone dresses or is perceived by others.  

4. Slut shame is a form of bullying.
Girls who break outside the mold of what they are supposed to do/be sexually and are thusly labeled sluts are at a higher risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide.  There have been many suicides that started with bullying in the form of slut shame. RIP Felicia Garcia, Amanda Todd, Phoebe Prince, Hope Witsell, Stacey Rambold’s unnamed victim, and all the other young women who have tragically taken their own lives because of the heartlessness and sexism of their peers.

5. Slut shame leads to rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence.
Because people see “sluts” as unworthy of respect, she is therefore not entitled to say no.  In this mentality, “sluts” become a target of harassment, assault, and even rape.  After the violence, she is then blamed for it.  After all, she was just a dumb slut….she asked for it, right?

This Halloween (and always) be a good person.  Respect women, respect their choices, and check yourself when you find yourself thinking or saying someone is a slut.  It’s a deeply held attitude about women that we all learn from our sexist culture, and it is vital that we all take the time to unlearn it.  These attitudes are more vicious and dangerous than they might appear.

xx

Laci

(via thecsph)

masakhane:

  • It’s 100% safe sex. 

  • You can totally avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. 

  • It helps to keep vaginas lubricated and can build a resistance to yeast infections. 

  • It’s a super form of stress reduction and it relieves sexual tension. 

  • It’s a means of endorphin release – it can make you smile! 

  • It can help with premenstrual tension and other physical conditions, like cramps, that are associated with menstrual cycles. 

  • It leads to relaxed sleeping conditions. 

  • It builds stronger pelvic muscles. 

  • It builds resistance to prostate gland infection. 

  • It’s an excellent cardiovascular workout. 

  • It increases your sexual awareness. 

  • It can be done when no partner is available. 

  • It’s the exploration of various kinds of self-stimulation, especially the sensations and pleasures that are maximally satisfying for you. 

  • It’s empowering! 

  • It allows you to participate in sex more frequently than you can with a partner. 

  • It helps you to think more positively about your genitalia. 

  • It can enhance your sex life. 

  • You have longer periods of arousal and near-orgasm than you would with a partner. 

  • It can provide more intense orgasms than partner sex. 

  • It can help make you a better lover. When you know how to stimulate yourself, then you can show your partner how to do it… and do it well. 

artsyartichoke:

No one defines you but you.  

By Artsy Artichoke

(via fatadditives)

The latest from our “Sexualities in Color” series.

seachangeprogram:

Love this image from the Repeal Hyde Art Project!