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Being Your Own Valentine: Edinburgh Sexpression’s Guide to Self-Care

Valentine’s Day can be really enjoyable, but it can also be super intense, & leave you feeling drained, especially if you’re going to be spending it alone. It’s important to remember that just like you love & care for others, you need to love & take care of yourself, & Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to start doing just that.

So, we’ve put together a list of ideas of things you can do this Valentine’s Day that are all about making you feel special & showing you just how amazing you really are.

• Do something that makes you happy - This seems kind of obvious but it’s really easy - especially on Valentine’s Day - to get caught up in what you’re expected to do rather than what you want to do. So have a think about what would make Thursday really special for you. Spending the day in bed with a special someone? Finding a spot in your favourite cafe & reading a book? Hanging out with friends? Watching the kitten livestream in your pyjamas & eating a jar of nutella? Five hour marathon of RuPaul’s Drag Race? Prep for your classes the day before to give yourself some extra time in bed? It’s up to you. If you’re having trouble thinking of things, we’d recommend taking part in Gala Darling’s Things I Love Thursday, where every Thursday you right a list of things that you’ve really enjoyed in the past week, which should hopefully spark some ideas.
• Spoil yourself - This kind of ties in to doing things that make you happy, but don’t be ashamed to take a day out to spend some time on you. Put on a face mask, take a long bath, order yourself dinner, take yourself on a date to the cinema, buy yourself flowers, (or even better, buy the set of three self-love pins in the photo above!). What’s that thing you’ve been longing to do for ages but haven’t found the time for? Do that!
• Stop comparing yourself to everyone else - Most of us have someone in our lives for whom everything seems perfect, & it can be really disheartening when you compare your life to theirs. However, it’s important to remember that, just like you probably don’t tell everyone when you’re struggling, they probably don’t either. We all go through tough times (if you’re really having difficulty coping we’d suggest talking to someone) & no-one is perfect, so don’t beat yourself up for not reaching some unobtainable ideal. 
• Appreciate yourself - It’s really easy to rattle off three things you love about those close to you, but we rarely think that way about ourselves. Spend Valentine’s Day appreciating all the amazing things about you. Maybe you love the curve of your thigh, or the fact you’ve got really good at karate this year, or your killer essay marks, or the way you helped out a friend last week, or maybe you’re just really happy that you make it out of bed each day. Whatever it is, be proud of what you’ve achieved & who you are. 
• Spend time with your body - This might sound kind of weird, but it’s really easy to feel really disconnected from our own bodies, especially with the levels of body hate being thrown at us every day. So spend some time alone, exploring your body. You can just hang out in your room naked, have a nice long masturbating session, or even try taking naked photos of yourself. We know this might be really difficult for some people, & don’t feel like you have to do it, but trust us when we say that your body is amazing & even if you can only find one thing that you like about it, that’s still fantastic.
• Evaluate how everything’s going & plan for the future - You’ve had a month for New Year’s frivolous & probably slightly misguided resolutions to fade away, so what do you actually want to achieve this year? Spend more time writing? Schedule it in. Try online dating? Sign up now. Get more involved in activism? Check out Bollocks to Poverty, or Edinburgh University Feminist Society. Take up yoga? The Ashtanga Yoga School has just moved to Marchmont. Self-care is not just a one off thing, it’s a constant journey so try dedicating a couple of hours a week (Sunday evening’s work great) to carrying on with some of the ideas from this list you’ve enjoyed. It might not seem like much, but becoming more self-aware & spending some time investing in yourself can make a massive difference to your every day life.

We hope you have a lovely Valentine’s Day, whether you choose to spend it alone, with a lover, or with your friends. If you’d like to learn more about self-care we’d suggest checking out the Tumblr self care tag where you can find out what other people do for self-care, & also Gala Darling’s list of 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself.

As always, if you have any questions relating to this topic, or on any other topic relating to sex, sexuality, gender or reproduction, then you can message us here.