Oh, did you not know you wanted to read this interview with a non-binary transmasculine roller derby player named Smacktivist today? WELL NOW YOU DO.
"Unlike some of my trans friends, I did not always know that I was trans (which is also totally normal!). My gender and body dysphoria originally presented themselves to me in ways that were not so obvious, such as an eating disorder. I really felt like I didn’t fit anywhere for most of my life and I always felt like I had a hard time relating to others. I would try so hard to fit into molds that I thought I was supposed to, based on what I thought would make me more like-able and make it easier for me to relate to others. But that usually ended up back-firing and making me really hate myself, which fed into a lot of my disorders. It wasn’t until the last year and a half of my life that I started putting a lot of the pieces together, in regards to understanding my gender and sexuality. And I started realizing how that affected my younger years and what it means for me now.
I started to figure this stuff out when I started reading about other people’s experiences regarding their gender identities, went back to therapy, and began eating disorder recovery. It has been really comforting to see that other people feel the way I do and have been able to give that a name and build community around that. It took me a really long time to figure everything out and I feel like I am still learning so much about myself and my identity, but finally knowing that I am not alone and that there is a name and a reason for everything has been an enormous comfort. Always growing!”