Disabled people get a lot of practice telling people about our bodies:
doctors, therapists, other people in our support networks. Even with
all that practice, important conversations with sexual partners about
our pleasure and our needs can still be hard to start. Here’s some great
help with that from Carrie Kaufman.
New! Scarleteen volunteer Val J talks to queer, nonbinary and disabled musician and voice teacher Renee Yoxon about their exciting and radical work in gender-affirming vocal therapy.
We’re ponying up and belting it out for our friends this time around!
There’s a big lovey-dovey holiday today. Whatever. This
year we’re choosing to loudly appreciate and celebrate the love in our
friendships, and all the love we’ve got for, and feel from, our friends.
Life can be rough, and friendship really is magic
Track List.
We’re Going to Be Friends - The White Stripes
Freedom! ‘90 (Remastered) - George Michael
Us Against the World - Play
You’re My Best Friend - Queen
These Are Days - 10,000 Maniacs
Not Alone - Matt and Kim
Team - Lorde
What About Your Friends - TLC
Good Old Days (feat. Kesha) - Macklemore
Color in Your Cheeks (Remastered) - The Mountain Goats
If He Tries Anything - Ani DiFranco
Grigio Girls - Lady Gaga
Friends - Bette Midler
With a Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles
I Wanna Be Like You - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Friendship Update - The Go! Team
Don’t Wait (feat. Chance the Rapper) [Chance The Rapper & The Social Experiment Remix] - Mapei
The Chariot - The Cat Empire
I Hate Seagulls - Kate Nash
Wherever You Are - Michael Franti & Spearhead
Dear Old Friend - Patty Griffin
Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John
Lean On Me - Bill Withers
Many of us are finding the current times more bearable thanks to our friends, no matter how far-flung they may be. So lets dip into the archives for a Scarleteen Mixtape that’s all about celebrating friendship!
Just a heads-up that we’re making some updates to Scarleteen’s backbone
over the weekend, so the site will be up and down some on Friday, and
may be down for more time over the weekend if anything goes wonky or
needs fine-tuning.
The message boards will be set to read-only
during that time for ease, which means you’ll be able to read what’s
already posted, but not make any new posts until Monday, July 19th. Chat may also be unavailable on Sunday altogether or for some periods of time, depending.
Thankfully,
this isn’t something we have to do more than every few years! Thanks
for your patience, and we apologize for any inconveniences this may
cause.
New! Scarleteen volunteer Val J talks to queer, nonbinary and disabled musician and voice teacher Renee Yoxon about their exciting and radical work in gender-affirming vocal therapy.
Fantasy is an important part of our relationships with ourselves and our sexual
desires. We are all born with imaginative minds — as children, we find
it natural to want, to fantasize. At one point, we were all experts in
our own desires. It was easy for us to recognize pleasure and imagine
how we could repeat that pleasure, expand it, prolong it, refine it. It
was easy for us to imagine a life beyond what we know. Over the course
of our lives, other people have rejected and belittled us for our
desires, and we began to feel shame and quiet ourselves. No one is born
feeling shame, but no one passes through life without internalizing it.
We learn, through media, our families, and politics, that certain types
of sex
and relationships are acceptable and other types are regarded with
disdain and are punished. Shame can make us believe that our desires are
inherently bad.
Connecting to sexual fantasies is a way to rekindle a healthy relationship with desire. One that has many, many benefits.
